He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Your dad touched me again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize