Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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