dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
