I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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