I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
