just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
