escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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