After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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