Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
