Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
