I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
