i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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