great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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