I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
