Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i barfeds in our rink
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
