My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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