I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
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There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
so he's a sleeptalker.
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.