he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
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Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity