so explain again why im purple
no
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
