Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
