Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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