i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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