His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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