Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
