Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
