i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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