the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it glows. i had to have it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
