If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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