You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
