there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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