We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
