I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize