Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
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Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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