Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
