my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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