"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she smelled like a LAN party
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
