R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so let's talk penis.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
