Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
