32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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