I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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