Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
