Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
