got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
