that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
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I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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