It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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