I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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