you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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