After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
