i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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