i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
