It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize