The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
