I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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