this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
