In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
