I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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