just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
