Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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