my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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