I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
