Me too!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
